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Instead of him feeling like your presence fills him with joy and peace, he will feel like your presence drains him of joy and peace. I don’t point this out to blame you or make you feel bad. This is good news because I’m telling you: This is 100% under your control.So what’s the root cause of this destructive force of fixation?I blame music and Hollywood for propagating this mindset, but for whatever reason, people today have the idea that relationships are supposed to be hard.MORE: How to Have a Healthy Relationship This simply is not true.Yes, I realize I’m speaking in metaphors, so let me tie this up: I don’t care if you of them is not your relationship – it is simply a thought in your head, completely irrelevant to the on-going music of your relationship.So if the “music” of your relationship is a bitter, hateful ballad of pain and inner suffering… MORE: 5 Signs He’s Not the One When you fixate on a relationship, you are choking the joy out of your own experience and that negative vibe transmits into your relationship and very quickly poisons it, fatally.
While this makes for good entertainment, it isn’t real life.
You just simply enjoy them as a person and you’re happy with them just being who they are. Again, I have to emphasize that it’s Fixation, on the other hand, does not feel pleasant.
It does not feel good, but it does feel very urgent, very important, and very stressful.
I don’t care if you have a million songs on your i Pod.
If you’re not listening to the music, you’re not experiencing music.
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It’s usually based on an obsession, or idealization, more than a genuine appreciation and acceptance of who the other person is. Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life” Quiz right now and find out if you’re sabotaging your love life, and if you need to get out of your own way…