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I think this is the main issue that you need to investigate first.
So, my advice is, if you care for her at all, let her do that. If you were seeing other women in your marriage, she was probably hurt and sad and lonely. I will tell you that how you are feeling is very common.There are countless men and women who choose to leave, find out their spouse is seeing someone else, and then go a little crazy with jealousy and bad feelings.They may even create a false history and say their spouse was really the one who wanted the divorce and that he or she was cheating all along.Additionally, the person might make the legal side of the divorce more difficult for their spouse because of their intense anger and jealousy.I really do think that in time you will come to accept that she is in a relationship that is making her happy. Honestly, I am not blaming you for your divorce and I don’t know the whole story.