Dating korean man korea

I just needed to have the right opportunity, and the right man, to let these ‘girlish’ traits show.

I realized that I might have forced myself until then to be this independent, outgoing girl with an “optimistic character,” fixing problems by myself without relying on my man.

It’s an old battle: fighting against the chasm, between the expectations of South Korean men (and even women who embrace these expectations) and the real, live selves of South Korean women.

As a young woman, I kept wondering about how I should act, and how much of myself I should show men.

It’s Valentine’s Day, and I am enjoying making chocolate on my own.

I no longer categorize this activity as a womanly activity. I also recognize that so-called girlish behaviors like are not the preserve of women. The revelations on my part may be uncomfortable for some South Koreans to bear.

She should be resilient but needs to be rescued when hardship arises. I could concede that independent and dependent tendencies might coexist in a person, certainly, but often they don’t go together.

I thought it more a fantasy of men who craved unequal power relations with their girlfriends than a reality.

However, now I know I don’t need to suppress my ‘girlish’ impulses in trying to be an independent woman.

I’m not exactly quiet, and I’m definitely not the ‘submissive girl’ that many people see South Korean girls as. But somehow, my personality became a problem when I started dating men in South Korea at the age of 20. I thought, is my outgoing personality — which was attractive to them in the beginning — an obstacle to developing a stable relationship? A bunch of my girlfriends had similar worries when dating South Korean men.

Many men approached me, expressing an interest in my outgoing personality. But sooner or later, they started to complain about things that energize my life, what I think are important, like interacting with people and having fun at interesting social gatherings. The biggest source of complaint was the irony of men applying different standards on their female friends and “girlfriend.” Some guys I knew loved hanging out with girls whom they called cool and funny — for example, girls who could drink two bottles of soju straight.

I finally had an answer to the question I had first posed in my early twenties: My outgoing personality, which attracted men, was not an obstacle to developing stable relationships.

I had never been the problem; I was fine the way I was in my entirety, whether independent, outgoing or girlish, and I could express myself fully if I was given space, without judgment.

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(They might say making chocolate is a woman’s hobby and men never do .) But I must thank the South Korean men I have dated — even those who have been so critical of me — for leading me down this path of self-discovery.

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