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You may get along great from the other side of a monitor, but once you’re sitting in front of one another… now you’re just struggling to get through the date in the first place. Before I continue, let me emphasise that I have given none of the below views, or expressed any kind of negativity, on any of my dates. As a man, I realise my privilege in being able to confidently walk alone after a night out, and meet strangers without feeling threatened. There is literally nothing good that’s going to come of this. with a corresponding problem for men that manifests itself differently – less of the frequent and acute annoyance, danger and fear that faces women, but the following (not even an exhaustive list): Alright my dude, you wanted to know about how to address this negative mindset. well, with a lot of these, you’re so off that you don’t even manage to be . – A chronic, never-ending state of being ignored by women in social settings; – Being effectively invisible to every woman you see in public; So I’m going to take these two together because either you’re repeating yourself or you’re conflating things in ways that only make sense to you.Which is why I suspect that part of the problem you’re having here is that you have a hole marked “Girlfriend” that you’re trying to fill and are less concerned about who fills it. …but all of them have rejected me with words along the lines of “it was lovely to meet you but I’m not sure I felt enough of a connection for a second date”. All of this despite evidence that they were interested in me, flowing conversation punctuated by laughter and even occasional arm touches etc. OK someone call Sir Mix-A-Lott because I hear a big “But” coming… If by “being ignored by women”, you mean that women aren’t approaching you for dates, then we’ve found your first problem.Doctor Nerd Love, I need your advice to get me out of a very negative mindset.So, I’m going to break in here right at the start: this is a good thing to recognize in yourself.All this talk of female oppression and male privilege, but nothing about the female privilege…that allows women to dictate every stage of the relationship: the second date, the pace of the relationship, initial sexual contact, and marriage, message and, for that matter, every gay or bi man you didn’t ask out.

Sometimes the answer is more nuanced than normal or requires cutting through a Gordian knot of related issues.Despite all of this, I have only ever had one 5-month relationship when I was 16. I’ve found it very very difficult to get dates at a regular frequency, so in that time I’ve been on only 20 dates.And despite spending the last 11 years trying to find a girlfriend, I haven’t had a single one, and – to add insult to injury – I’m still a virgin! Of those, I felt the vast majority went well – I do have social skills after all – and I expressed interest in a second date for 17 or 18 of the women…But, while the love may be tough, at the end we’re going to know exactly what went wrong and how we can do better next time.So scrub up and snap on the gloves; it’s time to get all up in them guts.

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Which means – say it with me now: this isn’t an example of female privilege.

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