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Don’t feel compelled to feel love for them, but strive to act in loving ways. And finally, be sure to acknowledge that your parent has legitimate needs and desires that include pursuing a dating or marriage partner.Doing so does not diminish the important of your other parent, your family history, or their relationship with you.We know logically that’s true, but it won’t stop our anxiety levels from going through the roof when we sense an argument starting.Instead of entering emotional fights, we prefer to have intellectual discussions where we can work out our issues calmly with minimal emotional response — and preferably zero yelling. We always have a contingency plan for if the relationship fails.SEE ALSO: How to Prepare for the Adventure of Remarriage Without question, a parent’s remarriage ripples through the generations of your family.It may take a great deal of time for you to open your heart to a stepparent and their extended family.Adult Stepchildren It is very important that you begin by acknowledging your own strong emotions about your parent’s remarriage.The feelings mentioned above are very common; if you don’t take ownership and responsibility of them, they may lead you into withdrawal, criticism, or hurtful behavior.
Thankfully, adult children and stepparents do not have the same power battles that younger stepfamilies experience because the stepparent is not trying to get the children to pick up their socks or choose better friends.Lorain, a reader of my monthly E-Magazine for stepfamilies, wrote asking how she might strengthen her relationship with her 19, 24, and 26 year-old stepchildren.“I was 49 when I married for the first time; my husband was 55. My husband kept his children up to date about our relationship and things were pretty civil until we married.A child of divorce is just as good at love and relationships as anyone else, but being with one can be challenging if you don’t understand us.Some days it seems like we’re experts at love, and others seem like we’re our own worst enemies.
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His oldest daughter cried loudly through the entire wedding ceremony.