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Here's the thing about bringing the GFE into your marriage. You must initiate it, and figure out when the best time to pounce is.He can't ask for it, any more than you can ask for a dozen red roses or jewelry, or it doesn't count. Yes, that requires recourse to calendars and schedules and such. No talk about work, kids, school, friends, family, symptoms, your problems, your hectic schedule, your impossible workload -- once you commit to a GFE, it's all about how much you think of him. But don't talk to him like a wife, treat him like a hot new boyfriend you really want to impress.The Marital GFE has to be given out of pure grace, because you, his girlfriend see that he, your boyfriend, is in need and you want to do something for him out of the goodness of his heart. But you can't mutually plan a GFE, nor may he initiate it. If he knows its coming, it's just more marital sex, no mater how inspired. That can be anything from 0 lingerie to that halter top you know he likes to that hooker costume from halloween to being buck naked and quivering in passion. Making the effort shows you're serious, and that you take him seriously. It's not about you (even though it's entirely about you). Fifth, since you, the woman, took the initiative, you, the woman, are in control.And while making a super-duper pancake breakfast might seem compassionate enough . Talk about him -- how sexy he is, how much you admire and respect a man that _________ (and make sure he does _______ or it will get weird). Undress him, caressing every part that gets uncovered. The passive nature of the GFE for the man is part of the allure of the experience.When a dude gets caught going to a whore, it's usually for the GFE, at least at first.Most wives could care less just why he was paying for sex, or what kind of sex, or anything else but the name of a good divorce attorney.Sure, it might not be as frequent as it was -- but hell, you aren't 19 anymore, are you? And how could it be that frequent with all you have to do? It's amazing you're in the mood at all, and then the stars have to line up for it to happen. (His girlfriend.) You see, your husband never stopped thinking about you as his girlfriend, first and foremost.And when it does happen, it's good, solid responsible married-people sex, two positions max, no oral, see you in a fortnight. Sure, it's nice when it happens, but the way he mopes around about it, and then gets frustrated, well, you're his Wife, not his damn sex slave. Long after trading in your engagement ring for a wedding band, he still thought about you as "my girlfriend I'm going to marry" in his subconscious.

It's amazing what a panacea that is to the vast majority of men. It sustains us, recharges, us, makes us feel loved and appreciated the way nothing else can. It's about someone admiring him, admiring his penis with oohs! For the real GFE, the look of utter devotion and intense joy you display about being fortunate enough to be the lucky girl who gets to play with his cock is like running on premium fuel.

That's quite understandable -- and often those questions do come to mind, months afterwards, as both parties are trying to pick up the shards of their lives and figure out where they went wrong.

For the dudes who turned to a pro, it's often the GFE that lures them in.

She is not just selling her body, here, she's selling her sexual interest in him. It shocks these poor wives to learn that their husbands were paying good money for stuff they didn't really mind doing at home -- and they can't understand why. The fact that a woman is willing to tend to his sexual needs in a way that flatters his masculinity and sense of self so much that many men experience an unadulterated surge of Alpha testosterone.

The core of the GFE is the sex act, of course -- but often this is limited to a long blowjob or even a lengthy handjob. So why does a man crave this bit of intimacy -- even with a stranger -- so badly he will sometimes risk everything to enjoy it? It's no secret why "sudden renewed interest in sex" is often listed as a sign your husband might be having an affair: a good GFE is like Popeye eating a can of spinach.

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