Waiting period for dating your therapist
MK: While some may see the exact number of years delineated as arbitrary, the reason a ban on sexual/romantic relationships with former clients was increased to five years was that we wanted there to be a little more time for the counselor to be reflective and to give more time for closure of the counseling relationship.It is really important that enough time has passed for the power differential to be resolved.
If you don’t perhaps this could be explored within therapy to open up to insight and enlightenment about yourself.Clients come into counseling emotionally and psychologically vulnerable and in need of assistance, so a counselor trying to engage in such relationships would be trying to take advantage of that client and their vulnerabilities to meet their own needs.Relational/cultural theory frames this as striving for a “power with” instead of a “power over” relationship.What is happening is in the present, not the past and you don’t quite understand it when your therapist tells you that a friendship is not a good idea and will never happen but still you persist because you feel connected and think you both have so much in common. When it is well boundaried it can be a positive healing experience to explore the imagination of a friendship with all its fun and creativity, and this is great – as long as it never happens. He/she knows way more about you than the average person would be comfortable with and it’s a one way street, extremely tipped over in terms of disclosure.Here are five good reasons why it’s not a good idea to become friends with your therapist. Therapy is not a mutual sharing of intimate secrets. If, in the very unlikely possibility my therapist and I became equal friends, it would rapidly become unbalanced because I would become very possessive and jealous in a short space of time.
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During the weeks between sessions you start to fantasise about sharing a coffee, walking along the beach, going horse-riding, having dinner with them, going shopping with them or just generally shooting the breeze over a glass of wine or two.