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You’ll soon be competing—and even literally fighting—to keep her.Nothing would make her happier; it’s just the kind of conflict and drama that makes her feel most desired.It’s no wonder that both genders are confused and confounded about what constitutes healthy, Grown decision-making and behaviors for women.We are constantly bombarded with conflicting messages about what’s attractive, healthy and appropriate for adult women, with everything from hair, to sexual choices, to body image under scrutiny.This is the woman who will co-sign for the car, give up the panties (without a condom in sight), and do all kinds of reckless, silly things, just because she is told that she is sexy, or that someone she likes is hot for her.This is also the woman who, in order to maintain her self-esteem and feed her ego, needs to feel that she is irresistible to others—even those she has no real interest in.Is the model for healthy womanhood the “blessed and highly favored” church girl who is waiting for God to reveal her anointed mate? All of this is made more confusing by the fact that much of what our society demands of women is not in their best interests, but driven by the desires and fantasies of males.Or the Louboutin-wearing, reality-show diva with the perfect weave, super-model make-up job, designer clothes and pro-athlete boyfriend? It takes a Grown woman to navigate this barrage of conflicting, judgmental and even oppressive messages to and about women by media and society, and emerge as a self-loving, whole person, accountable to herself and committed to personal growth.
If you allow your ego to convince you that you “took” her from her man and are determined to prove that you’re the one for her, you will quickly find that she is neither capable of nor interested in a healthy, sustainable relationship.
A Grown woman does not need the attention of others to feel desirable or worthy of love.
And she knows the difference between being desired and wanted for what she looks like, what she has or what she can do, and being loved and valued for who she is. She feels incomplete and/or inadequate when she’s not in a relationship—any relationship.
Either way, the result is anything but healthy, sustainable relationships.
A Grown woman honors, esteems and respects herself as a whole person, and requires the same of others, including men.
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Earning an advanced degree has led to a six-figure position at a major corporation; she earns additional income as a freelance model. And parked in front of her condo is her current-model luxury car, with a license plate that reads “Grown And Sexy1.” Is she a Grown woman? Unfortunately, many of the adult choices that women embrace as “grown and sexy” are anything but Grown, healthy ones.